Cranberry Snow-Cones Dalia Levanon Is it possible
for it to be so cold that the blood which lives within the heated shelter of my body begins to freeze turning to ice a cherry-slush inching up the capillaries in my legs solid cubes congealing in my lungs the streams of once warm liquid that rushed through my veins slowing as the particles turn into sparkling crystals and I am a human diamond with icicles for arteries and a smooth sleek dripping ice sculpture cold to the touch that sits where my heart once was? The thermostat remains silent it’s answer lost in the faint whirring of cold air circulating around my room.
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Violet Wishes Dalia Levanon i wish that the whole world was my favorite color
i told my sister last night as she adjusted her quilt and pillows that would be boring she replies in her usual matter-of-fact tone You’re wrong i say before realizing that she is asleep i begin to drift off as well my eyelids fluttering shut breathing begins to slow the room is silent i wake up this morning look out the window as i do every day we never close the blinds i gasp rubbing my face slapping my cheeks but the view remains the same the sun is a sideways lavender crescent on the horizon the clouds are periwinkle puffs floating across the sky which happens to be a deep magenta i turn to examine the bedroom my desk the same shade as the delicate stripes on an orchid petal my sister’s face a bush of lilacs as i examine my reflection in the mirror i find out that my appearance is the same as her’s the entire day i am surrounded by hundreds of hues of purple who knew there were so many? i give up halfway through my classes the amethyst jewel of my screen causing my head to pound i burrow under the covers blackberry jam icicles clinging to the window pane i sleep once again yet as i close my eyes all i see is the dreaded color of wishes lacking the subtle excitement of finding a new shade and the increasing dullness of the entire world merging into one blur the next morning my sister drags me out of bed saying you were acting weird yesterday but i am not listening for the sun is a brilliant burst of glowing yellow the clouds are softly painted white the sky is a landscape of pure blue and i scoop my sister into a hug my face pressed into her espresso waves i announce you were right. Belated Birthdays Dalia Levanon our dorm room
has a certain fragrance so whenever i push open the steel door i am greeted by the gentle scent of apple vanilla scented candles kitty litter ben & jerry’s cherry garcia ice-cream which violet eats by the pint she buys it at the convenience store on the other side of campus because the prices are worth the commute she insists i rake my fingers through my choppy curls staring at the blank document on my laptop my knees pulled to my chest third period seminar begins in half an hour and i just got back from my poetry workshop crumpled gift bags are strewn across my bed each with the generic Happy Birthday written in rose gold lettering they only sell one design at the bookshop i don’t mind i cherish each of the presents i was given a dandelion chain from the friend who works two jobs and still can’t pay off her student loans the latest rupi kaur book from my peer who rarely speaks in class but once we’re dismissed never stops telling stories a blue faux succulent from my lab partner in neurobiology who claims that she couldn’t find any green ones and a candid portrait of myself from violet i look at this drawing now at the half-smile on my face my arms folded on the wooden desk eyes rolling at a comment the professor made i think back to five years ago where life was a mess of uncertainty paper masks and hand sanitizer online textbooks and walks in the dark because there was nothing else to do wondering what it would be like in college when life was supposed to get better well i whisper into the ears of this fifteen year old who mindlessly tears pieces of tape into shards of transparency it does get better it will get better life will always be a mess of uncertainty getting older is not about life getting easier cleaner more manageable it is about accepting the precariousness of each day each moment being grateful for every minute that you spend on this planet smelling the familiar scents of each home you will have collecting the gifts from the friends that you will someday meet she nods glancing at her global history homework i watch her knowing that she will not understand cannot understand until she has lived through my life and has become me just like i do not understand my life now and will not until i have experienced more of it in five years time wherever i am whoever i am. By Dalia Levanon Wildflowers My vision blurs for a moment a single moment As the screen unfocuses the borders of the tiny squares disappearing so all I see is a field of smudged faces Each expression a different wildflower sprouting from the soil of Zoom The logo flashing as I blink and the teacher turns to the next slide. Frozen They are trapped
in two-dimensional frames as the Wifi disconnects Each yawn stuck forever a hand muffling the sound Each stolen text message eyes darting below the screen Each moment of peace as a camera is turned off so briefly That they are sure no one would notice Yet I did I won’t tell I promise That you were letting the exhaustion roll off of you like a tide letting your eyes flicker shut Before my screen unfreezes and the yawn is over the phone is put away And your face can be seen again. |
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